|
Hell Ride review
:. Director: Larry Bishop
:. Starring: Larry Bishop, Michael Madsen
:. Running Time: 1:24
:. Year: 2008
:. Country: USA
|
The one thing I learned while watching Hell Ride is that having the right connections in Hollywood makes anything possible. Check this out: not only does this film prominently feature the "Quentin Tarantino Presents" tagline, which implies you're in super cool cult film territory, but it also boosts a dream-genre-cast with the likes of Dennis Hopper, David Carradine, Michael Madsen, Vinnie Jones, without forgetting the smoking Leonor Varela.
The problem is that this talented ensemble is just here as faire-valoir for writer/director/actor Larry Bishop. Who's Larry Bishop, you might ask? Well, I don't know much more than you so, from looking at his resume, he hasn't done much, besides directing some obscure B movie and working as a supporting cast member in Kill Bill and a multitude of masterworks such as The Sting 2, Kung-Fu, etc …
Based on an inept — and believe it or not confusing — script about vengeance and biker gangs, Hell Ride centers around 3 things: Larry Bishop, Sex and Violence. The latter two are only here to serve Mr. Bishop and demonstrate to us how tough he is, what a chick-magnet he is and how cool a guy he is (the hint about his coolness is that he always wears sunglasses halfway down his nose) … except that, to be frank, with his fake looking goatee and tan, he looks more like a hairdresser from Rodeo Drive than a ruthless biker gang leader called "Pistolero".
Edited chop-chop style, filmed like a TV movie and filled with laughable lines and cartoonish performances, Hell Ride offers a succession of gratuitous violent and sexual sequences, which are neither appealing nor shocking, instead looking as vulgar and cheap as a porn flick. Of course, I have nothing against sex and violence in cinema, as our popular cult film section can attest. I'm even a supporter of some bad films, whose badness makes them good and enjoyable, but it's not the case here. Hell Ride is as pleasing as the sound of nails on a chalkboard and, as a result, its title seems like an unintentional reference to the experience it provides to the audience. One thing that's sure is that I won't forget Mr. Bishop as a screenwriter, director or leading actor when it's time to send my ballot to the Razzies!
Fred Thom
 Movie Reviews: from 1998 to 2011
Reviews since 2012
|
|
